A Gambling Manifesto: Ridiculous Super Bowl XLIII Bets
The current line on the Super Bowl has the Pittsburgh Steelers favored by about a touchdown or so over the Arizona Cardinals. The line may shift slightly in the hours leading up to kickoff, but you know Pittsburgh will be a clear favorite. For something a little different, the Over/Under has been sitting at about 46½-47 if you want to bet the total score.
Of course, that’s not the whole of Super Bowl betting. Not by a long shot. Let’s examine some of the more ridiculous bets out there. Some are truly bizarre, and most require zero knowledge of football or anything really. If you’re a degenerate gambler these are for you (A quick note for gambling novices: If the money line is negative, such as -145, then you have to wager $145 to win $100. This works for any negative number, you wager that much to win $100. If the money line is a positive number, then you will wager $100 to win the money line. For example, if the money line is +145 then you wager $100 to win $145.):
And also the Team to Win Coin Toss (BetUS.com)
At least both heads and tails are the same odds. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. So maybe there is some logic to this whole thing. Alright then, let’s move on to Super Bowl predictions…
Are we really going to trust Matt Millen over Barack Obama? Would you trust Matt Millen on anything? If Millen’s right and Obama’s wrong, does the world end? Speaking of disappointments like Matt Millen, Here’s Bill Bidwill…
Really, the less Bill Bidwill seen the better. Alright, let’s move on to the National Anthem…
During the Singing of The Star Spangled Banner will Jennifer Hudson Lip-Sync any part of the Song? (SportsBetting)
How Long will it take Jennifer Hudson to Sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung)? (SportsBetting)
Over 2 minutes and 1 second: -155
Under 2 minutes and 1 second: +125
I like the over on that one, but that’s just me. So the National Anthem is over, which means we get Al Michaels and John Madden talking at us. They may or may not say anything worthwhile. Any bets on them? Sure!
How many times will Al Michaels and John Madden reference Ben Roethlisberger as Big Ben during the Game (Pre Game and Halftime do not count towards wager)? (Bodog)
Over 5 Big Ben References: +140
Under 5 Big Ben References: -200
How many food items will John Madden mention during the game? (Bodog)
Over 1.5: -280
Under 1.5: +220
Too bad we probably won’t get Madden talking about his six-legged turkey. Maybe instead he’ll mention his great Popcorn Popper? Probably a no on that one too. Let’s just move on from Madden and assume we make it to halftime. How about some Bruce Springsteen bets?
Halftime is over! And for those of you’ve that watched, you were treated to another act that was more relevant twenty years ago than today. That’s okay, I don’t listen to much music of today anyway. To this point you might notice I’ve largely skipped bets on the game. Those aren’t ridiculous enough on the whole. Except with the refs. You never know with them, and this has been a bad year overall for referees, so let’s throw this one in…
Given some of the calls this year, I don’t know what’s a good bet here. So let’s hope there’s no major controversies and just fast forward to the end of the game. You know when the Gatorade showers start to commence. Which brings us to…
Over 45 Seconds left in 4th Quarter: -135
Under 45 Seconds left in 4th Quarter +105
Not a totally crazy bet, so let’s get more in depth on this Gatorade issue:
Color of Gatorade dumped on the Winning Head Coach? (BetUS)
Lime Green: +400
Or you can take slightly different odds at Bodog:
Lime Green: +450
Just a note, “clear/water” has been the winner in each of the last three Super Bowls. Might be worth a shot, even if I’m personally hoping for blue. And one last Gatorade related bet…
What side of the ball with the Players that perform the Gatorade Shower be from (Players must be holding a part or piece of the bucket to be counted towards wager. If there are players from both sides of the ball involved in the actual dumping of Gatorade then Wagers are No Action)? (Bodog)
Damn those offensive players hogging all the Gatorade glory! Okay, now the game is over. Still a few bets to cover. First, let’s start with the commericals. They’ve all aired. So who’s the winner there?
Bud’s always a good bet, but not much money to be made on that one. What about the ratings?
What will the TV Rating be? (BetUS)
Over 42½ Neilson Rating: +115
Under 42½ Neilson Rating:-155
These are supposed to be smaller markets. Not exactly New York and Boston from last year. Maybe the under is a worthwhile bet (like I really have any idea what’s a good bet here)? Whatever the correct answer is, let’s make sure not to forget about Brenda Warner…
Which brings us to the MVP. Not who will win. That’s not ridiculous enough. How about who he thanks?
Does not thank anyone: +500
I think you know where Kurt Warner is going first if he wins (Hint: it’s God). He may pushing the odds on God a bit since he’s a prime candidate to win MVP. Only Ben Roethlisberger has better individual odds. If you think the Steelers will win, maybe this is one instance where you bet against God? That is if he doesn’t smite you.
Well that wraps up our rundown of ridiculous Super Bowl bets. If you’ve gotten this far, here’s a table of actual spreads and over/unders of all the Super Bowls:
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