Two chickens in every pot?  Screw that!  The real American dream is spending an autumn Sunday in front of your 60″ flatscreen watching a collective 12 hours of football while you pretend that another week of work isn’t a day or two away.  What could be better that that, you ask?  How about being paid to be at that game?!  Yeah, there are people out there with incredible jobs that get them up close and personal with the greatest sport in America, football.  Jobs that are held by regular schmucks like you and me.  The only difference is that while they are living the dream, you are on your third bag of Doritos and Terry Bradshaw has not yet begun to stumble through halftime highlights.

In no particular order, here are the ten best real jobs that people hold in the world of football.

So easy, this kid can do it.

Your job is to run to the center of the field and grab the kick off tee after the ball is booted to the other end of the field.  The only way you can screw this up is if you’re plowed into by the return man or the fifth string linebacker relegated to Special Teams.  Sounds like motivation enough to do this awesome job.

Pros: You get to go to every home game, be on the sidelines, and work a grand total of ten minutes per game.
Cons: You do have anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 watching you and if you trip you’re guaranteed to be on YouTube the next day.  No pressure.

Since the media does nothing but Tebow puff pieces, you end up working about as many days a year as Santa Claus.  And you get to live in Florida.

Pros: Easiest job on the planet.  You get to attend every Florida Gators game and mingle with co-eds.  You know, to keep Tebus Christ pure and unshamed.
Cons: Tebow graduates this year and you’ll have to wait a while for the next Messiah.  Looks like it’s back to managing the images of another Vick brother for you, sir.

Who wants to buy season tix to the Pack? Oh, all 81,000 of you?

According to Packers.com, the season ticket waiting list currently has around 81,000 names on it and is approximately 30 years long.  Lambeau Field has been sold out since 1960, so how hard can YOUR job be?  Every year, your only job is to send out 81,000+ post cards telling everyone their position in line.  I assume pants are optional for this job.

Pros: Job security, probably get access to tickets.
Cons: The risk of 81,000 papercuts when sending out those post cards.

Best job ever? Best job ever.

Ummm….yeah…you need an explanation?

That's the power of Oxy...and good blind side support

Peyton has only been sacked 212 times in 6273 career passing attempts.  Nearly every time you see him in a game, his jersey looks like it just came back from the dry cleaner.

Pros: A couple of sprays of Febreeze and your job is done.
Cons: Everyone else’s smelly crap is waiting for you and Dwight Freeney’s jock isn’t going to wash itself.

All I can say is that my job effing rocks today cuz there's no ra-ay-ain...

Your job is to measure 10 yards.  Your instrument:  a 10 yard long segment of chain with orange sticks on both ends.  It’s not like you are given 12 yards of chain and have to do some guesswork.  Every once in a while you trot out onto the field, set down your end of the chain, and let the real officials do the rest.

Pros: Traveling the country, attending football games, getting those sweet bumble bee vests.  The girl from the Blind Melon video approves.
Cons: Always hearing you’re just a little short on the field, as well as off.

Even I could do that!

Yeah, you have to wear the mesh kangaroo sack all game, but that’s a small price to pay to be on the sidelines and amongst the players.  Plus the bribes from the kickers and quarterbacks to keep sending out the worn balls makes for a lucrative side venture.  Could be worse, you could be trudging up and down stadium stairs with 100 pounds of frosty refreshment.  Try to resist the urge to slyly smirk at the beer vendor as he applies the Icy Hot to his aching back in the break room.  He doesn’t find you cute or amusing, he wants to kill you.

It's a "no pants" day

You get to work from home, writing about the sport for which you’re most passionate.  You get to pour over every detail and make the jokes the mainstream guys want to but can’t.  You provide the voice of the common fan while he slaves away in his office cubicle.

Pros: Pants optional.
Cons: Having to try to explain what you do at social and family gatherings.

Color commenting: it's 20% easier with a mustache

Your partner does all the heavy lifting with the play by play, all you have do is chime in every once in a while with an observation or quip regarding the players.

Pros: Travel the country attending football games and getting paid to BS.  If you’re lucky, you’ll get to work with Erin Andrews.
Cons: You might get paired up with Mike Tirico or Ian Eagle.

His first and last interaction with players

How does this sound?  You work for 6 months without actually doing anything, then you’re “sacrificed” for the misdeads of the team’s head coach.  Your parting gift?  How about the remaining three and a half years on your contract!  Where do I sign up?!

Pros: 6 months of work for 4 years of pay.
Cons: You have to spend 6 months in Cleveland.

So while all of those sound great, what is the ultimate job in Football? How about the NFL Director of Fandemonium? Here is the job description:

• NFL Draft: Announce a pick at the 2010 NFL Draft (April 2010)
• NFL Kickoff: Act as backstage talent wrangler at the 2010 NFL Kickoff concert (September 2010)
• NFL International Series: Participate in on-field introductions at the 2010 International Series Game (October 2010)
• NFL Thanksgiving: Serve as an on-field broadcast liaison for the NFL Network 2010 Thanksgiving Game (November 2010)
• NFL Super Bowl: Join the coin toss ceremony at Super Bowl XLV (February 2011)
• NFL Pro Bowl: Select a play from the sidelines during the 2010 Pro Bowl (January/February 2011)
• Publish blog posts on NFL.com and meet with top NFL executives

Want a chance to win that job? Then enter the contest to compete for the dream “job” of serving as a fan ambassador for Monster.com and the NFL with special access at a series of marquee events throughout the 2010 NFL season. Once “signed,” the next Director of Fandemonium will take home a $100,000 signing bonus, so definitely check out the details.