Four Sportsmanship Tips for Golfers
The Masters has come and gone, and for many golfers, it signals the opening of golf season. Sure you can hit the links in March, but it can be a bit cold. Once Masters week hits, Spring has really sprung and golf season begins in earnest for most casual swingers of the clubs. Golf is a game of many written and unwritten rules, and sportsmanship and gentlemanly play are of the utmost importance. So to get you up to speed for your next golf outing, we’re proud to present some tips for spotless golfing sportsmanship…
1) Dress elegantly
Golf is one of the world’s strictest sports when it comes to manner of dress. A golfer’s uniform is recognizably elegant in comparison to, say, that of a professional wrestler; however, some might say that it just doesn’t “cut it” in terms of overall “dapperness.” Some of us fancy lads would prefer to show up in much dandier apparel; like say, a full-blown tuxedo or some of those puffy shirts and pants that pirates always seemed so fond of in the olden days. Get creative with your clothing choices; nothing is too much for such a great and regal sport! Of course, you may decide that there is no greater suit to wear golfing than your own birthday suit; after all, it was the emperor’s choice.
2) Put the pedal to the metal
Golf carts have all the necessary potential for serving as the basis for their own separate sport. Other golfers; however, seem to completely disregard their obvious potential and instead creep around corners attentively and descend hills carefully. You don’t have to be a stingy like those old fools though; take that cart for a REAL whirl!
Push that pedal down as far as it can go and duct tape it in place if you can, then let the fun begin. You’ll be there before any of those other slowpokes even round the first bend (of course, “there” may prove to be a relative term). If you really want to take your fun to the next level, set up a few ramps or map out some suitable jumping locations that you can propel your vehicle from and take those things at full speed. Some of the best spots are at the bases of steep hills or anywhere where you can find something at least moderately hazardous to clear.
3) Put balls where you feel they should be
Sometimes your balls don’t land precisely where you’d like them to. Whether or not you should strategically position them somewhere else depends highly upon a single factor, whether or not anyone is around to see you. If the answer to that question happens to be negative, then you’ve essentially got the green light to give a little push in the right direction. Who knows; maybe, just maybe you’ll pull off a hole in one this time!
4) Cheer for your pals
It can be exhausting to finally make it to the green after hours upon hours of what spectators could only describe as an amateur venture into excavation. Everybody’s pretty tired at that point and the best way for you to cheer people up is to cheer for them as they putt. Forget those days of quietly looking on as your friends miss those long shots; give them someone to blame for their foul-ups instead! Be sure to wait for that split second right before they bring their arms back towards the ball to yell out something truly encouraging. Remember, megaphones aren’t out of the question.
Potential cheers: “Do it baby; geet ‘er dun!”
“Sink that bitch!”
“Go balls deep!” etc.