The Plague of the Jets
And the Football Gods said unto Skip Bayless…
Rex Ryan’s heart is hardened, he refuseth to let Tim Tebow go. Get thee unto Rex Ryan in the morning, he goeth unto the press conference; and thou shalt stand by the press conference door against he come, and the microphone which was turned to a serpent should thou take in thine hand.
And thou shalt say unto him. The Football Gods of Lombardi and Rozelle and Landry and Shula hath sent me unto thee Rex Ryan saying, “Let my Tim Tebow go, that he may serve me in Jacksonville or the Arizona wilderness, and behold hitherto thou wouldest not hear.”
Thus saith the Football Gods, in this shalt thou know that we are the Football Gods. Behold, I will smite with the microphone that is in mine hand upon Revis Island and then on to Santonio Holmes which are in MetLife Stadium, and your season shall be turned to crud.
And the Magicians of New York did so with their enchantments. And Rex Ryan’s heart was hardened, neither did Ryan harken unto the Football Gods, as they had said. And Rex Ryan turned and went into his house, neither did Ryan set his heart to this also.